73. Public Footpath, Exbury
Photocise...photocize...yes I'm blantantly making a word up - but a word that sums up my new 'thing'. Bit of an odd post this so bear with me. Yesterday I went on a walk, this walk you can see the photos of. It's a public footpath that I've driven past a few times and made a mental note to actually walk along, a mental note that I've been making for a couple of years now.
I need exercise. Too many days and nights sitting stagnant in front of a computer monitor. I do love blogging but some days that's all I do and as much pleasure as I get from it, too much of it is ultimately not going to be good for my health. I've put on weight, a lot of weight but losing weight is not as straightforward for me as is the case with anyone recovering from an eating disorder.
Counting calories, running and even meal replacement shakes have all been tried at some point in the past year but with no success, for each time I start something it's only a matter of days before I'm sucked in to standing on the scales each morning. The problem is that standing on the scales can affect the day ahead, a couple of pounds lighter means a great day, even a pound heavier and the days ruined, I'm fat, I can't get losing weight right.
I'm half a stone into the 'Overweight' bracket, I know in my mind that that's not the end of the world and I don't judge others by their weight, but that's the *note sarcastic tone* joy of an eating disorder, it's akin to postnatal depression - that feeling that you know what's normal and healthy to feel and then you know how you actually feel - and because of that you know that how you feel isn't right and it starts a self-perpetuating spiral downwards.
And that's why Photocise, I need to be a lot more active than I am, I already eat healthily it's exercise that's letting me down. I heard on the news last week that inactivity is more of a threat to peoples health than obesity and it really got me thinking about how little I move about. But exercise is something I can't do without slipping into becoming obsessed with the scales, upset and slipping back into purging. And so I'm trying out taking my camera and going on walks, an hour a day. Enjoying being outdoors, enjoying taking photos and enjoying coming home and sharing them here from time to time and getting more active in the process.
Will it help my weight issues? I don't know, but I'm going to find out. I honestly believe that every person has the power to positively effect any problem, and in this case see some lovely things along the way.