Tuesdays Tales from the Supermarket - 'Bing Bong Small child licking her legs in Aisle 4'
'Bing Bong! This is a staff announcement, can the code amber team make their way to Aisle 4 as there appears to be a small child licking her own legs and no mother in sight' Ah the weekly family shop, the reason I love life, oh who am I kidding it's Beelzebubs devilish doing and I abhor it - though it keeps me in posts on a Tuesday so who am I to complain ;)
The joys of 3 year olds - Bean is going through her first licking phase. She's now passed through the 'why?why?why? phase unscathed (although I am still somewhat traumatised whenever I hear the word ). She's been licking my clothes, my face, the dog (ew!) and just generally anything and everything that passes before her. It started last week when we popped to the beach for a mid morning stroll. She managed to convince Ozzy and my good self to paddle in the sea water on what has to be said was a bloody freezing morning. Of course as is always the way with impromptu sea paddling, mummy has no towel or spare clothes for her little darlings and so the great God of Bad Timing let Bean fall over into the sea arse first. It was in the car on the way home that I first noticed her licking her own arm - probably a very salty arm after her little dip.
"Don't make a big fuss over it" was the advice given to be by all asunder. So ignored it I have. Until yesterday when we were doing our weekly food shop...
Bean had legged it off to the deli as she has a major fixation with olives (or as she calls then 'olibes'). When I finally caught up with her my jaw dropped. There she was, bold as brass, sat on the floor in front of the deli with her leg up round her head licking back of her own knee ! She had quite the circle of chuckling shoppers around her too.
My inital reaction was an inner 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' ,followed by 'if only I could still do that' which in turn was followed by 'ha ha it is rather funny' and to finish it off 'do you think if I just walk by people will think I don't know her?!'
I had to spring into action though when I overheard the security dood talking into his walkie talkie about 'asking the mother of the girl licking herself in aisle 4 to make herself known'.
Oh the shame of it ! And her reason for such a display ? She has a bruise and "You are a noggins mummy - you have to lick bruises to make them go away".
Obviously - silly me - rule #1 in any first aid course ...